Misha sighed and looked to her friends–her family–with seriousness. She folded her hands together and began pacing at the front of the room, which had silenced as soon as she approached.
“Ladies,” she began, addressing the room. “We need to talk about it again. I don’t know why we keep coming to this room discussing this subject over and over, but here we are.” She paused for effect, scolding everyone with her tone.
Launa stood up swiftly, catching her hat before it could fall from her head. She pointed a finger to her fellow witches before saying, “This is about crystal ball safety again isn’t it?”
The room groaned collectively. They’d been to 3 safety meetings this moon and they were both tired of it and completely embarrassed.
“OK, Launa, since you have graciously volunteered yourself, please tell us the top 3 safety rules for owning and caring for your crystal ball,” Misha said, giving her friend the floor.
Launa nodded obediently and smirked at the group. She adjusted her glasses and took a breath, making sure everyone was looking at her.
“Number one, obviously, is you have to have a license to practice witchcraft, and that includes an extra certification for fortune and seeing. If you don’t have a license or correct certification, and you are caught practicing fortune and seeing, you can be fined or stripped of your magic for up to 5 years,” Launa spouted as if reading from the New Witches Guide to Greatness handbook.
Misha nodded, motioning for the witch to continue.
“Number two, use caution when reading the ball. You may see something that, when taken out of context, looks highly suspicious or even scandalous. Always check multiple sources and seek multiple points of view to get the most accurate reading.”
Launa put her hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow.
“For example, if you see my husband having lunch with another female, you may want to check to see whether she is his sister, Belinda.”
The ladies snickered, and Belinda’s cheeks reddened.
“We aren’t tabloid news, ladies, we’re witches, with degrees and training. We don’t report things we can’t substantiate.” She placed a finger on her chin, pursing her lips. “Unless, of course, we are working with humans who just want to know if there will be new love in their lives. For $15, we find a way to tell them what they want to hear, am I right?”
Laughter echoed in the room before Misha silenced them again.
“One more rule, Launa. Please make certain to speak this one with clarity.”
Launa nodded and addressed the group again.
“The third rule is arguably the MOST important of all,” she emphasized. “We all know it, but yet it’s the one that gets abused the very most.”
She pointed a finger at the group, going from one to the next until she settled on a specific witch, her gaze downcast, worrying her hands together as she bit her lip.
“As Zaraleigh found out the hard way, rule number 3 is super simple and yet so easy to forget.” She raised her voice to belt out, “Never leave the house with your crystal ball uncovered.”
Misha threw her hands up in the air, exasperated.
“Always cover up your fortune ball, ladies. Every time you’re done with it. And always when you leave your home!” She looked at Zaraleigh, her face hardened, but with a trace of empathy.
“Zaraleigh popped down to the market, and wasn’t gone but maybe 30 minutes. What do you think happened when she left her ball uncovered?” she asked the group.
“Spirits?” an older female quipped. “Spirits released themselves from the ball and wreaked havoc among the humans?”
Misha shushed the laughter.
“Really ladies, I expect more from the lot of you. Especially from you, Danielina.” The old woman shrugged, offering a toothy smile.
Misha sighed again and shook her head. She asked Zaraleigh to stand up and address the room. She didn’t want to put her on the spot, but it had to be done.
“I’m sorry, Misha. I really am. I didn’t think it’d matter if I was only gone to the market and back.” The tears showed in her eyes as she turned to everyone else. “Rule number 3: cover your ball when not in use. Because if you don’t, and you leave the house, the sun could shine in and hit the glass all weird, and burn your house down and you won’t even know it until you return.”
Gasps erupted from many of the ladies, while others who had known the story previously just nodded their heads.
“Thank you, Zaraleigh. We appreciate you owning your mistake and sharing it with the rest of us,” Misha told her, asking her to be seated once again.
“Always cover your fortune glass, witches,” she said again loud enough for the words to echo against the expanse of the room. “We can’t keep blaming wildfires on human gender reveal parties and campers. Just cover the damn glass.”
She turned and left the room, over the whole thing. The rest of the witches began talking wildly, loudly, about the meeting and about their own experiences with almost setting fire to everything they own.
“Meeting dismissed,” Launa yelled over the sound of chattering. “Please feel free to stay around for cauldron coffee and cake. The children have been practicing their warming skills and would love if you’d let them know how they did today. And if anyone has extra time today, Zaraleigh could use a bit of magic to regrow her mushroom home, as we all know she burned the last one down. Be safe, and happy haunting, witches!”
Shannon Ambroson 